WOW

OK.....its been a while since I've posted. A few things have happened...Ive already said that Im expecting again. I am now 18 weeks along and it has bee the pregnancy from u know where...I have been nothing but sick..i lost 20 lbs so far..i now have a really bad sinus infection and a nasal polyp, whatever that is..that might even require surgery...I am scared to death of having another baby....I mean i wanted another one..i still do..but the closer i get and the more crazy things get here with the 3 I already have the more scared I get. I dont know how I am going to manage...especially now that we are in an apartment...yeah thats the other thing thats happened. We moved out of my parents house about a week ago now into a 3 br apartment. Its a pretty nice apartment...fairly good size...but the abby and natalie are now sharing a room and so far its been a little crazy. Kylie is in a room by herself for right now just because her sleep patterns are so screwed up. Once the new baby gets here it will stay in our room for awhile..after that i dont really know what we are going to do. I get stressed out over the fact that the girls are so loud in this place i feel like our neighbors on the top and bottom of us are gonna start complaing..but the more i tell the girls to be quiet the louder they get and the more stressed i get. I dont know if i should just let them be or what..i dont know....i have never lived in an apartment before..i want to say just let them be whatever just like we lived in a house somewhere but then..arg..i just done know...We also got a van...its used and serves its purpose and much bigger then my mothers car that i was driving. Only now the check engine light has come on and its making funny noises...we dont have the money to fix anything right now if something did break...we used our savings to buy the dang thing....hopefully its nothing..I feel like I am complaining alot...and i am....i am feeling down and in the dumps lately...probably from lack of sleep and being sick all the freaking time...and yes i know i have lots to be thankful for...like having our own place and car now and such....its just really hard to focus on the good things when it feels like everything in me or around me is crazy and sick. I dont want to go to work anymore really, i dont mind my job but everything is getting on my nerves and my patience is so thin already...I feel like i m gonna explode...maybe thats just the pregnancy talking but oh well...i feel like crud....so anyway...we find out in about 2 weeks what we will be having.. I really hope its a boy but the more i get my hopes up for that i know it will be another girl...not that i would mind having another girl but its just a change from the norm u know...something different than what i already have....so ..i guess thats it...I just talk to myself later...sorry for being so negative to anyone who actually reads this blog....bye